An Apppology to everything what took place here, not that it will have any effect .

Hey all

To what happened in the the topic labelled:
Anthony's Voodoo5 6000 remake project, Seems exciting for sure!

Some crazy ass shit went down the drain there didn't it... but damn I do admit it was wrong of me to constantly question Anthony and others of things I didn't agree with as it's entire design goes.

What he has done for the 3dfx community is amazing but I do hope what others do here will also be seen and that is something that worries me, it's why I went in full defense.
And yes at x-3dfx we did remove Anthony and some pro Anthony posters from there because our page was being spammed with their topics only while that of others was not cared for to not even seen, x-3dfx is for everyone and not for one solo guy only.

That may be a thing here, but not at my communities.

There may be those that are against me, if I am threatened I will do everything in my power to eliminate such threats but I won't do that in public, I have other methods for that.
To those that Felt threatened by me now you have an idea what it's like if you are always a target, this is my life literally 24 hours a day, but there will be a time I won't exist anymore and I think that is the best for everyone here as everywhere else, the roof isn't far up form where I am located.
I Deserve nothing but pain and hate and I hope it ends me.

But again I do apologize to those I made feel harassed or threatened, it would be best to make peace and close that damn topic and make your own instead I will stay out of it as part of the deal.

Since it's really not my interest and I won't support it either, it's that simple.

Have a nice day or night, I'm outta here.

Tobi I can apologize here, i just didn't get the right moment for that yet, but here it is.

hmm I just don't understand why I even posted in that topic to begin with, I could left it as it is and never intervened.

All would of been fine and unharmed, I am the architect of my own failures, that to which will be the path to my own downfall.

If there is a way to put everything back to how it once was I would wish to have the power or ability to do that, but mentally things have not been well here for the past 7 months. Lost a best friend yesterday he died in a car accident, no one knows the cause either.

MY mind has been a mess as of lately, it's as if it's been taking me over posting things I don't want to post, I have autism, paranoia, PTSD and other strange anomalies, not many understand me, people misread me or misunderstand me easily and even if I do get banned from here I will understand, not many of you would even know how to react anyways, you see things from your own global perspectives.

All I want is to sleep and never wake up ever again this is all I been thinking about the past 5 weeks, I just want to sleep and never awaken, the world would be a much better place without me in it
Even I think many of you have that in mind, go to professional help people say, then again after having over 40 different people since I left Australia none of them actually had any effect.

All I am doing is causing others pain, troubles and I get why many of you dislike me because of those so called deeds.
Bottom line is it won't matter what happens to me in the end.

So I am really sorry to what happened back there, I really am, I never was like this in the past and I don't understand how my mental state has degraded so poorly, Tobi and others were right to question myself even though I talk to myself a lot in RL, all my friends have left, it's like being alone in one room and no one talks to you you have nothing but yourself to commune with, it's scary at times.


Now it's time to sleep and every day I will try to sleep longer, I will succeed at some point.

Doctors won't help nothing can it's my mission and I will succeed I want to sleep and never wake up ever again MY doctors know of it but they won't do much due to covid.

I rarely eat my appetite is totally gone, seeing people like ciara72 post threads like this online is threatening meand that makes my mind dangerous and unreliable, it triggers my PTSD and Paranoia


I passed it on to my crew at x-3dfx we don't tolerate the spreading of misinformation, it falls under slander, I will show it to my therapist and the police when they come here later this week, I get them over on a weekly basis if things are going bad.

I have been a victim of cyber bullying for years now, every piece of info I get is added in a list of reports.
Such things only drain my will to move on, it's as if every day things are getting worse and no one has a real solution.
As for Ciacara72 I have blocked them and reported them for slander to the owner of this forum, not knowing it will do me much, but every bit of negative info I get doesn't make things any better.

the only cure for me is sleep then I feel no more pain.